“Hi Nicki. It’s Beyonce Giselle Knowles-Carter of the House of Dereon aka King B aka America’s National Treasure with skin and soul as pure and as white as a fresh Winter Morning aka Sasha Fierce aka The Second Coming. How you livin’?”
“actually my name’s Ka-“
“Listen Jessie J, I know we’ve both said and done some things we’re not proud of but I’d like to take this opportunity to extend an olive branch. You see, my Grammy warehouse is being relocated from the Cayman Islands to the large and wide open spaces of Rihanna’s forehead, and I was wondering if maybe you’d like to house-sit some of my Grammys and maybe even keep one. How does that sound?
“WOW! REALLY?! MY FIRST GRAMMY!? BEYONCE YOU SHOULDN’T HAVE!! Except please know that my name is Ka-“
“You’re right. I shouldn’t have and I won’t. How’s that for some Beautiful Liar shit, Bitch? Eat a dick heaux. Have fun living in Gaga’s shadow for the remaining 2 of your 15 minutes. I gotta go, we’re upgrading Blue Ivy to iOS 7 today.*click*”